By Collins Warren, Copy Editor
As graduation approaches, a sense of finality has begun to settle over the Class of 2014. Many things both mundane and important gain consequence when one realizes they may be the “last” of whatever they are. Your last CLP, your last research paper, the last time you fall asleep in an undergraduate class, your last Chicken Finger Tuesday or Quesadilla Thursday or chocolate chip cookie in the dining hall: all have significance in the final weeks of Furman life. To make sure that the senior class makes the most of its time before graduation, here is a handy checklist of experiences no Furman student should miss out on before donning that mortarboard.
- Go fountain hopping. Surely by the end of your fourth year you have done this at least once, but if you didn’t make it into all seven in one outing, does it really count?
- Ride the drunk bus, either while intoxicated yourself or sober so that you can observe the shenanigans of others. We’ll leave that up to you.
- Get laked. If it’s not your birthday, just jump on in. Think how robust your immune system will be after the exposure to E. coli! Teddy Roosevelt would have been man enough. Are you?
- Learn some swing dancing moves. If you have managed not to do this already, congratulations on having found a way to avoid My Tie, homecoming dances, the gatherings in front of the homecoming floats, Junior/Senior, and all Greek functions.
- Confront your fear of the statues of the frolicking children behind the lake. If you don’t, they’ll probably continue to haunt you.
- Drive backward around a traffic circle. As long as you’re still traveling in the right direction, you won’t attract the attention of University Police. Maybe.
- Ladies, make sure you are on track with finishing your MRS degree. If you haven’t been kissed under the bell tower yet, get a move on.
- Go out to the golf course in the middle of the night. While there, stargaze, have a philosophical conversation by moonlight, play flashlight tag, streak…the possibilities are endless.
- Go to a CLP while under the influence. You only have a few chances left, so if you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel to finish your 32, this might help pass the time if you’re stuck going to one you aren’t interested in.
- Actually, pick anything you have to go to in the near future. Go to it intoxicated.
- Try a Stack at Moe’s. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Or maybe just hardens your arteries...
- Get in the library fountain on LDOC. Once again, we’ll leave the question of sobriety up to you.