Welcome to college, where "transitional homelessness" is a new way of life! When I use the phrase "transitional homelessness," I'm talking about the helter skelter lifestyle of college. You see, we're at that perfect age of being independent enough to dive into the process of finding a home within our own skin.
So now, I congratulate you on the freedom to decide your core beliefs! Until you first came to college, your beliefs may have been influenced largely by your parental guardians, friends, and a few mentors. But now, thanks to transitional homelessness, you have the right to choose the things that are important to you. You will have to learn about many things while at Furman, thanks to the liberal arts curriculum. But one thing you will inevitably be faced with is the discovery of your Self. You will be asked, "Who are you? What do you believe? Where did you come from? Where are you going? In whom do you put your trust? Which way is the "right" way? Is there a "right" way?"
Sometimes, through transitional homelessness, finding your Self is a delightful process. There are mornings when you wake up and all is right with the world. Your professor gives a brilliant, life-altering lecture, where clouds part and the senior thesis of your dreams reflects in the sunshine. Then you go to dinner at the DH with your best buddies from your first year at Furman and, by golly, they're serving falafel, your favorite DH dish! You discuss the usual controversial issues, make fun of a few quirky faculty members, talk of each others' vocational revelations, then go to walk around the Lake and enjoy the sustainable air and the black swans.
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
Unfortunately, Self-finding in transitional homelessness is not always this peaceful.
Sometimes, finding your Self is like a boxing match. Unfortunately, you will meet people that rub you the wrong way and call your ideas garbage. So when you find those people, what do you do? Do you engage in the match? Do you throw punches and say, "It's my way or the highway?" Or do you acknowledge the differences by engaging them in polite conversation? Do you realize that some battles cannot be won? Do you turn about-face and honor the other person despite the fact that you still want to punch his/her face out?
I know, I know. It's hard for us to say what we would do "in the moment." Our self-biases say that we would chose the "more honorable path," but the truth is that it hurts when somebody takes your beliefs and calls them "rubbish," especially since those beliefs are a part of your Self. Transitional homelessness means that we're always growing and changing. Sometimes it feels like the things we believe are the only things that have some sort of stability. So why wouldn't you fight for the things you believe? They're your beliefs! They're a part of what defines you!
It's far too easy to engage in a game of bashing beliefs and opinions. Perhaps you've seen a religious group or two on TV protesting hot-topic issues with picket signs. Or maybe you were tuned into the Congressional budget debates a few weeks ago. You may have been disgusted by a lot of the sound bites being tossed around. Or you may be in agreement with them. The next time you find a group or another individual speaking about a particular issue, ask yourself these questions: Are they speaking with love? Are they speaking with humility and understanding, desiring nothing but to serve humanity in the greatest way possible? How am I reacting? Could I be reacting in a way that violates their self- exploration?
This year, if you are willing to be stretched a little, to put down your boxing gloves, and to engage indialogue in a space where we respectfully listen to one another, this might be the perfect time for you to become a little more self-actualized. Just because we are in "transitional homelessness" at Furman does not mean we are transitioning alone. The best transitions happen when we move together as a campus. And when that happens, we all go home together.